Sitting in my car, just had dinner when the phone rang.
I had to look it up. Furlough.
It is now, at the very least, a mandatory separation. No one at fault. Just business. A whole lot of us are on the outside looking in now. Coronavirus, COVID-19. 620,000 cases. More than 28,000 deaths. My life? I just pray. Grateful to be alive. Coming to grips with the fragility of life, of work.
Though every trace of wisdom advises us to never get married to a job, that’s what I’ve been for the past 30 years. This life has been good to me.
In any lasting, satisfying marriage, either partner is happiest when giving more than a 50-percent share. A friend’s elderly father put it like this when I interviewed a church hall of people at a wedding reception. It was 1989.
I had to look it up. Furlough.
It is now, at the very least, a mandatory separation. No one at fault. Just business. A whole lot of us are on the outside looking in now. Coronavirus, COVID-19. 620,000 cases. More than 28,000 deaths. My life? I just pray. Grateful to be alive. Coming to grips with the fragility of life, of work.
Though every trace of wisdom advises us to never get married to a job, that’s what I’ve been for the past 30 years. This life has been good to me.
In any lasting, satisfying marriage, either partner is happiest when giving more than a 50-percent share. A friend’s elderly father put it like this when I interviewed a church hall of people at a wedding reception. It was 1989.
“I always gave my wife more than 50-50. If I was giving 60 or 70, then I could feel happy.”
I paused the video camera. I was stunned. Stunned silent. Finally: “You mean, you give 70 now and later she gives you back 70 and it evens out, right?”
He shot me a quick wince and smiled. “No. I always want to give more. That’s why I was happy. And she always want to give me more.”
This man, in his 80s, a Native American, had flown 3,000 miles to see his son get married. This sage had just buried his wife of five decades a week earlier. Remorse was somewhere in his heart, but love was still alive.
I changed my mind about love that moment. Not completely. Not immediately. But something in my gut knew he was right.
So I gave all I had, not to a wonderful wife, but to my job. Hopefully, we all return when life gets back to something close to normal. I gave more when more was asked of me. I will still give without a second thought. The rewards are bountiful. Beautiful. Priceless.
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